13 Sep Searching for meaning…and the courage to dream

QUESTION
“Hi Jacquie,
How lucky I am to have met you through your site. You make me smile and feel that everything will be OK in my life and that I don’t need to marry, live in the burbs and be a ‘certain something’ because that’s what’s required from a woman at 30.

My question to you is this: before one even starts to dream, how does one find the courage and energy to dream? I have struggled with a wacky divorce and the death of my father all in one year…I feel like I have no energy left to dream, but I also desperately want meaning. What is the source of that vital dream energy and what inspires you to keep going, dreaming and come back to connecting with yourself/who you truly are?”
– Searching Soul

ANSWER
Dear Searching Soul,

Thank you so very much for your question. Nothing makes me happier than to hear that I inspire you and make you smile – wow!! Thank you! I am, however, very sorry to hear of the loss of your father and that you have been through other difficult times lately.

The first thing that comes to mind when I read your question is this: try to stop to “desperately want meaning.” Accept the fact that you have been through a tough time and that it is OK to be sad. Allow yourself to wallow for a bit. Let go of the need to make sense of it all. The funny thing about life is that when you relax and “let go,” your energy will come back and you will start to feel better. It is so important to stop “fighting” our feelings. That said, seeking inspiration during difficult times will definitely expedite your road to happiness.

When I have had to deal with sadness and fear, I wallow and accept that it is a bad time BUT I ALWAYS tell myself that this too shall pass and I tape the following mantra somewhere where I can read it often throughout the day:

“What I desire is on it’s way. It will arrive precisely on the universe’s timetable, not on mine. Everything that I am experiencing now is disguised as a problem, but I know that it’s a blessing. What I desire is on its way and it’s coming to me in amounts even greater than I can imagine. This is my vision and I will hold on to it in a state of gratitude, no matter what.”
~ Wayne Dyer (from his book Inspiration)

Following this little ritual daily during difficult times has helped me immensely – what it does is give you hope. When you see the hope and believe that things will be great for you again, you will start to dream. Dreaming should not require effort as it should be a beautiful, joyful and exciting past time. Closing my eyes and visualizing a pretty fabulous life is like going to a great movie for me. I love the process as there are NO limits to it! Remember, NEVER apply logic to your dreams. Make them weird, wonderful, outlandish and absolutely fabulous. They should make you smile and feel good and you must NEVER try to figure out “how.”

To help you to start to reconnect with your true self, I highly recommend that you read books by enlightened people – authors like Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle and Stuart Wilde helped me immensely. In fact during 2009, Wayne Dyer’s book Inspiration had an enormous impact on me by filling me with hope and optimism. Spend as much time as you can being quiet and alone. Realize that you are a perfect being who can have or be anything that you can possibly dream – you have everything that you need right now to be what your heart desires.

You ask me about having the courage to dream and to this I say, “You do not need courage to dream!!” You know why? Because dreaming MUST be done with NO logic or limitations – you do NOT have to have a single clue about how to make the dreams a reality. Just dream anyway and have immense fun with it! When dreaming big is a frequent thing for you, life will begin to show you the way. That is when you require courage to follow the little clues that will begin to come along.

For now, you have been through enough. All you need to do is DREAM without limits or reason. Relax and enjoy the journey! It is evident from your letter that you are someone who seeks answers and solutions therefore I know that life will turn around for you soon.

I send you joy, hope, and happy dreams,
Jacquie