QUESTION:
“My biggest challenge when I start to, as you say, dream big is…entitlement. Somehow, as soon as I dream about what I would really like, my ‘other brain’ says: ‘Oh no, you don’t deserve that.’ It’s really quite frustrating.” – Blondie
ANSWER:
Blondie my darling,
When you feel that you do not “deserve” wealth and/ or a worry-free happy and enjoyable life, how do you explain the people who HAVE those things and what makes THEM deserve it and not YOU?
Think about it for a second – It is not academic brain- power. There are PLENTY of super-rich not so smart bunnies running around out there. Think of some sports stars, some musicians, etc. Conversely, there are plenty of POOR and brilliant scientists, mathematicians. It is NOT beauty – again – LOTS of rich ugly people and not so rich pretty ones. It is NOT personality – Plenty of boring or nasty bizillionaires and tons of nice, entertaining poor people. SO WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES THE WEALTHY AND/OR FULFILLED DESERVE IT AND NOT YOU??
NOTHING!
This is the key:
Remember the famous quote by Henry Ford?
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you are right.”
You have to consistently and constantly work on believing that you are deserving. It takes work. Never give up.
That’s it in a nutshell.
JS
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The Ranch
October 2009
In the past 48 hours, an encounter with a man has rocked my world. My passion, strength, determination and sexy attitude have been screwed, shall we say, right back into me. Now I know what I want. Halle- fucking- lujah. At 6.30 on Friday morning, I had mind-blowing sex with a married man. You might well ask how such an event could be so enlightening. Here’s the story.
I have been in a relationship with Ferrari for almost 10 years and for a while now I have had ants in my pants. Recently, the ants in my pants have become a fire in my belly. Unfortunately the fire is not to become a better spouse or a philanthropist of some note. I tried those. The fire remains. It is a fire to have my own gig.
According to popular opinion, I have been living the perfect life. I had a rich guy who loved me, was generous and mostly understanding. Isn’t that what women want? And yet, I felt like a caged lion and just like one, I came out attacking. I did not always treat Ferrari with love and compassion and I took every opportunity to be “away”. When he was at one of our homes, I would be at another. Don’t get me wrong, Ferrari has contributed his fair share to the demise of our relationship but that is his story – This is mine.
My actions finally caught up with me when Ferrari announced back in May that perhaps I no longer love him. (Maybe he’s right but I know one thing for sure, I did not get into this partnership, or stay in it, because of some devious plan. I had the best of intentions to live society’s norm.) He asked that I remain at the ranch while he ponders the future of “us” at the penthouse in Vancouver. Suddenly I started to back pedal. Shit, what have I done? I am so fortunate, why did I have to throw a spanner in the works?
Faced with the reality of losing Ferrari, my homes and lifestyle, I started pleading and conceding. Maybe I can be satisfied with being a “wife” for the rest of my life – if I give it my all? Undesirable fears crept in and I started to cling to the life that I know rather than visualizing the extraordinary future that I have the ability to create for myself. Will first class and private jets give way to the back of the bus? Will I be replacing Hermes with H&M and the penthouse for a pondok? Will I ever find love again?
I hated being so pathetic and two weeks ago; a series of emails from Ferrari was the catalyst that I needed to snap out of it. His words devastated me but only for a moment. I developed a stoic determination. Nobody gets to put me on the “back burner” while they decide my fate.
In that split second, a single decision changed my life. I was back. It was 6 in the evening and still sunny and hot despite being the end of September. I grabbed my gear and Noonoo and I headed down to the lake for a kayak. Half way down the path, I stopped. I was overcome with strength from the clarity of my decision. I was alone but I said out loud; “That’s it, it’s over for me”. It was as though I had flipped a switch.
What happened next was remarkable.Gliding through the still water with Noonoo sitting in front of me, Mother Nature began to communicate with us. Three bald eagles sat in a ponderosa pine squawking loudly. Around the corner, a mama deer and her teenage twins grazed quietly in the reeds. A pair of loons popped up beside the boat. Thousands of water birds covered the north end of the lake. I kissed my Noonoo on the top of his head. He looked so cute sitting bolt upright in his little matching yellow lifejacket. How I love him. I paddled back with the sun in my eyes, smiling broadly.
The Universal Force was not done with the omens. At 4 in the morning I was awakened by a pack of howling coyotes. Not unusual in this part of the world but what made this different was the proximity. They were right outside my bedroom window. The sound was loud and haunting.
Later that morning, I went for a ride on my special horse, Sweet Legacy. We were all alone and I continued to feel good despite the massive change that was looming for me. A large black bear appeared. He crossed the path about twenty yards in front of us. ‘Legs’ stopped abruptly. We both held our breath for a moment and then watched as the bear sauntered through the field and out of sight.
Wow! My decision was being reinforced loud and clear. Mother Nature was shouting; “Yes! Yes! You’ve done it! You’ve made the right decision. It’s good. It’s right!” I felt the power of possibility. I felt strong. I felt supported.
Now, you may not buy into my belief system, in fact you may think that I am downright cuckoo. I can tell you that I came by my beliefs honestly and with enough proof to leave me in no doubt as to their validity. About twelve years ago, I was introduced (through the Oprah Winfrey show and Phil McGraw’s book, Life Strategies, I am not embarrassed to admit) to the concept that our thoughts and our beliefs create our destiny. It was shortly after this that I went from being in a half-baked relationship, in a dead-end job and living in a small rental apartment to a penthouse, a farm, a home in the sun, designer duds, animal philanthropy, horses, a dog and a man who loved me. All of these things were on my list. Not a word of a lie – All of them.
Tune in next time to continue the story!
It’s summertime! Take your entertaining outside with this fresh and delicious starter inspired by the famous crudites from Club 55 in glamorous Saint-Tropez.
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RECIPE
Dressing
1/4 cup sherry or white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon finely chopped shallots
1 tablespoon chopped tarragon or thyme
Pinch of salt
Freshly ground pepper
Mix all of the above, and slowly add 3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, whisking all the time. (You can also shake it all in a large jar.)
Vegetable Platter
A selection of full-size broccoli, cauliflower, assorted peppers, radishes, mushrooms, and cherry tomatoes. Serve with boiled eggs.
This is my first style obsession video. Here I share my take on the lovely trend of head-to-to white. It’s beautiful, it’s fabulous, and everyone should indulge!
The Adventures of a Glamorous Normalphobe
When my first marriage crashed and burned within 6 months, a friend that I once had, told me that she had a feeling that I was going to be married about five times and get richer with every husband.
I was incensed. How could anyone say such a thing? And besides, I have always thought of myself as so very down to earth.