21 Dec December Can Be a B*tch

The Grinch speaks…

December can be a bitch. I hate the rush to spend tons of money on crap of no value just to fulfill an obligation, the over-indulgence and gluttony, the clutter that creeps in to my home, and as for the pressure to be happy and joyful – yuck. It’s a month where I feel overwhelmed, unhealthy, anxious, tired, stressed and disconnected. My carefully constructed routines get thrown to hell and I find myself feeling out of control. Do any of you relate to this?

Ah, such telling insights into my character flaws and here’s some big ones: I hate normal and I loathe obligation – therein lies the answer to my beef with December. Society’s traditions require a certain amount of obligation and towing of the line and I am SO not good at that.

I’d much rather give, volunteer, surprise, and donate at random times throughout the year according to need or desire and not according to an obligatory date on a calendar. I like to throw dinner parties on a Tuesday in June or on a school night in September for no reason what-so-ever, other than I just feel like it.

Yes, I am the Grinch that stole Christmas. So where the hell is “Little Miss Positive” who posts motivational quotes on Facebook and who likes to inspire and motivate people to live phenomenal lives? I’m being challenged. It’s times like this that put my belief system to the test: Attitude is everything? We create our own destiny?

So here’s the thing (I hate to admit it while I am indulging in such a great bitch fest, but): I do realize that I have to be tested in order to be strengthened. So while I feel the darkness, I’m not letting it swallow me. I am wallowing in it, acknowledging its necessary evil and taking comfort in the fact that without darkness there will be no light.

Without feeling crappy in December, and being forced to abandon my routines, I will not be on fire in January. And being on fire in January is what I love most of all. Being on fire in January sets me up for a whole year of productivity, opportunity and transition (that is until December rolls around again!).

And despite my grumpiness, I really do wish you all peace, joy and prosperity and please accept my heartfelt gratitude for your loyalty and support throughout the year – I am humbled and honored.

JS