27 Sep Rumor has it…

“Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.” ~ Erica Jong

I was recently stunned to hear that I was apparently paid 1.3 million dollars by my ex-lover, a.k.a. Mr. Bentley, to remove “Love, Lust and Lunacy” from my website and to keep his identity under wraps. OMG. WTF?

Someone whom I have never met was spreading the story – in fact I’ve never even heard of her. My initial reaction was an unhealthy dose of anger and to go right on to the proverbial defensive. “Friggin’ lunatic”, I thought. “I mean, I did sleep with a married man, but bribery? Extortion? No bloody way. We all have our lines in the sand. Besides, bribery and extortion are illegal and I’m the kind of person who doesn’t even get parking tickets.” See there I go, defending myself to you…! It’s human nature so it got me thinking.

Why are we so affected by what others think or say about us? Especially people who don’t even know us? It’s because we are insecure and it’s because of ego. It’s because we don’t love ourselves fully and therefore we doubt ourselves. And the thing is, we have to know ourselves completely and like what we see before we can fully love ourselves – so it’s a process that begins with self respect and ends with self love. It’s what I call “Be your OWN soul mate!” When we love ourselves fully, we are not affected by the opinions of others. And while I have been on a journey to self-love for quite some time, I clearly had some more work to do!

So I took a deep breath, turned to my gurus, studied some more and decided to turn the whole experience into yet another awesome opportunity to grow as a human being – yet another step on the path to enlightenment. Fortunately, challenging situations and negotiations in recent years have taught me that being reactive in any situation is foolish and most importantly, detrimental. It’s always best to walk away, simmer down, let cooler heads prevail and only when clear, calm logic has returned, should you formulate a strategy to deal with the situation if necessary.

And yes, sometimes things should just be ‘let go’ and other times, it’s important to deal with them because there is a very fine line between being pig-headed and being a doormat. It is only when we know and love ourselves fully that we are able to keep ego and insecurity out of the equation and know the difference.

I have decided to be flattered by the rumor. My passion is to inspire people to live exciting and adventurous lives and because I live what I teach, people who aspire to live a more exciting life themselves will either chose to sit in judgement or be inspired to make their own move towards a life of great adventure. (Click here to read my previous posting on ‘judgement’.)

And BTW, “Love, Lust and Lunacy” has been temporarily removed from my website to make room for some big changes to jacquiesomerville.com – changes that will reflect my passion to start a movement. The movement? “Be your OWN soul mate!” Then, and only then, will we all be able to squash our insecurities, banish self-doubt, live exciting, adventurous lives and not give a rat’s arse about pesky rumors! Take to heart the words of Helen Keller: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Yes indeed. And when it is, those who are stuck in a less than adventurous existence will talk. So be it. As Oscar Wilde so eloquently put it “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about.” Makes you think doesn’t it?

Sending love and strength,

JS