Can we please do away with the Fashion Police, the Worst Dressed Lists and the like? They are killing individuality, creativity and artistic expression on the red carpets of Hollywood. The way these people are lambasted for taking a risk, thinking outside the norm and breaking with tradition is enough to send even the most self-confident among them quivering into oblivion for the rest of their days. Enough with the shredding of individual style, the annihilation of creativity and the perpetuation of a homogenous look that is both beautiful and bland.
Not everything should be judged on beauty – including fashion. What about the interest factor? What about the fact that in my opinion, fashion is and should be a fabulous creative outlet – an expression of one’s personality? About the Oscar’s on Sunday – where was the partnership of Cher and Bob Mackie when we needed them most? Where was that damn swan, for God’s sake? We needed a swan.
For what it’s worth, here is my Best Dressed List from this year’s Academy Awards: Stacey Keibler in Marchesa, Cameron Diaz in Gucci, Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera, Rose Byrne in Vivienne Westwood, Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen, Angelina Jolie in Versace and I thought Meryl Streep looked lovely in her gold Lanvin.
There will be no Worst Dressed list from me and I hope that next year I can put out a Bravery List – my favorite of the Risk Takers.
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Many people think that I am weird or just plain selfish but I have to say that I loathe the constant compromise required to peacefully but resentfully cohabit with another human being. Yes indeed, living alone – well, with my dog – is a luxury that I am grateful for every day of my life.
In my dream relationship, we live in separate homes next door to one another or at a minimum, in a large house with separate wings. My wing has a beautiful bedroom, a perfect bathroom and dressing room, a TV room/den and an office with a great view. Mr. Wonderful gets to choose what his wing is comprised of (but he doesn’t get to share mine!). The shared portion of the house has a large great room with open plan living/kitchen/dining, a home theatre and a gym.
I have been a huge proponent of my “separate wing theory” to all the men who have been in my life for the last 16 years – it has gone down like a lead balloon! People cling to tradition because change is scary and flying in the face of convention means making oneself vulnerable to cutting criticism and judgment.
I realize that many share a residence (and in some cases stay in unhealthy relationships) for economic reasons and still more do so because they have or want to have children. This makes perfect sense to me. I’m not saying that my “separate wing theory” is a one-size-fits-all solution. On the contrary, I am saying that it should merely be considered as an option by those who are intrigued by it and considered acceptable by those who are not.
It seems so natural to me to want to maintain mystique and intrigue when it comes to ones sexual partner. I mean I find it so hard to remain sexually attracted to a man once I am privy to his burping, farting and other not so pleasant bodily functions. I love the idea of being together because you really want to be together and not because you have to – I think that this is why so many of us have friendships that last a lifetime but spousal relationships that crash and burn with alacrity.
As you can well imagine, it was of great interest to me and quite honestly, somewhat vindicating to read a fascinating article entitled “Divide and Conquer” by Kate Bolick in the very latest American “Elle” magazine – the March edition. Apparently there are researchers working to legitimize LAT (Living Apart Together) because of its increasing popularity!
Now, I just have to find that sexy, secure and completely non-needy man – needle in a haystack? I choose to think not.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance!” ~ Oscar Wilde
Of course my message is always that self-love is the most important love of all. When we have that down, we are so much better at loving others. We are able to love fully and without fear. Then we can take to heart the cautionary words of Bertrand Russell:
“Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.”
On this day of extra love, I challenge you to throw caution to the wind. Love fully and with an open heart! Trust yourself that you are strong and secure enough to suffer any negative consequences.
Be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” ~ Cecil Beaton
Ride the Great Adventure that is LIFE!
I send you much love,